We live on your block.
We are your collegues, your classmates.
We are the people in line behind you at the grocery store.
We are REGULAR people who are living a double life.
On one side, we appear to be a normal family, dealing with the regular issues that crop up in our lives. On the other side though, the hidden side, we are a family falling to peices. We are a family that is being torn apart slowly, bit by bit, day by day.
Those letters come in the mail:
"...A successful business man whose fortune turned..."
"...A loving father who was struck down by a teribble ilness..."
"...A chashuva man in our community with many daughters to marry off..."
"...A young woman, tragicallly left a widow, with 6 young orphans to support..."
They often find their way into the trash, unopened. We read them from the comfort and security of our beautiful homes. We don't want to mess up our peacefull days with thoughts of situations that are less than pleasant. Sorry to bust your bubble of security but it is time for the truth to be known.
Let me tell you what financial crisis means to a family. Financial crisis goes so much deeper than worries over how the next mortgage payment will be paid, how much longer we can stall the electric company before they shut off our electricity (again), what to tell the kids who want to know why they can't get new clothing and shoes like all the kids in their class, how to marry off the shidduch age children. Financial crisis tears at the roots and stability of a family.
Let me tell you our story.
My father was a prosperous business man. About 6 years ago, the wheel of fortune turned, and overnight, my father lost everything he had.
About 4 months ago, after years of living off of, first savings, then borrowed money, my parents were forced into the terrible conclusion. They had no income, no savings, and no line of credit. With collectors calling at all hours of the day, our electricity shut off twice, and no money on the horizon, my parents were forced to turn to the only avenue open to people in as much debt as them: Tzedakah.
Imagine what this did to the self esteem of a man who had given hundreds of thousands of dollars to tzedakah, to go out and litterally BEG others for money. It is the dictionary definition of pathetic, watching my father as he tries so hard to maintain a front of long-forgotten dignity. He is a ruined man. My mother also, is so paralyzed by fear (and don't judge her, you can't imagine the gut renching fear we face on a daily basis) she can not cope. Literally. My house is falling to peices, both from the repairs it needs that we can not afford, and because everyone is simply too wrapped up in worries to do anything beyond the basic survival needs.
We have gone from a harmonious family, that got along nicely, with a well run house, to a fighting family. Fighting both among ourselves and for our survival. You can not imagine what it feels like for a girl who is at the age of shidduchim to go to sleep at night wondering when will she loose her house? Who will go out with a girl who's family has no money? How can we pay for a wedding when we can not even pay for our groceries? Am I destined to be single forever? How can I even save up for my own wedding when all the money I earn in my job is going to pay for my family's neccesities?
Lately, I have been unable to sleep at night. When I do fall asleep, my dreams are restless, full of uncertainty, financial instability. Are you understanding me? When we discuss Financial crisis, we are not talking about merely a lack of money. We are talking about lack of stability, lack of security. We are talking about an entire family forced onto an emotional roller coaster. We are talking about children who go to sleep at night wondering what they will say to their friends when they come to school with torn shoes. Worse, we are talking about mothers who DON'T go to sleep at night because they are worrying about their kids, their home, their marriage, their family. We are talking about a friend staying up with me for an entire night as I cry that our family's electricity was shut off. We are talking about myself, my older brother and my younger sister who need to somehow be married off, with absolutely no resources with which to do it. We are talking about a family who has 6 years separating them from their last memory of peace of mind. We are talking about real people. Fathers. Mothers. Children. Sisters. Brothers. Your friends. Regular people.
Why am I writing this letter? I am writing this letter to make you aware of what goes on behind those tzedakah letters you recieve. I know that most people are not in the position to give a significant contribution to each cause that sends them a letter. I am therefore asking you that next time you recieve a tzedakah letter (and prefferably each time thereafter) you should close your eyes, and try to picture the situation of the family they describe. Then, you should say a personal tefillah to hashem, that a)you have financial security, you don't need "matnas basar v'dam", and b) Say a tefilla to Hashem, ask him to help the family in the letter, Hashem is the "nosein lechem L'chol basar" and he is the only one who can help, so please, Daven for me, for my family, for all of Klal Yisroel who is suffering through this "financial crisis".
Signed, a REGULAR girl, who is suffering tremendously.
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